Hillary Clinton Wants to Date You (And What You Should Do Instead)

Hillary Clinton is threatening to date you. Just donate to her campaign and you’ll have the chance to “win” an evening with her on Broadway.

We at Conservative Watchdog can think of lots of things we’d rather do. Heck, not even her husband wants to spend the night with her.

Here’s our Top 8 Things We Would Rather Do Than Go on a Date With Hillary.

8. Eat nothing but Michelle Obama’s school lunches for a month.

Runner-up: Eat lunch with Michelle Obama for a month.

7. Attend a sit-in with Democrats.

Looks like a fun bunch.

6. Receive text messages from disgraced Democrat Anthony Weiner.

Runner-up: Receive selfies from Geraldo Rivera.

5. Have a slumber party with Pajama Boy.

Remember, the White House hired this wussy man-baby to promote Obamacare.

4. Sit near Trigglypuff at a college political event.

Trigglypuff (aka Cora Segal) is a feminist and actual student at Hampshire College. She became an internet sensation after exploding at a panel at UMass Amherst called “The Triggering: Has Political Correctness Gone Too Far?” on April 25, 2016. Looks like she answered the question.

3. Listen to Bernie Sanders’ spoken word folk album on loop.

Yes, such an auditory nightmare exists. Feel the Bern and then stab pencils into your ears. Same as you would after listening to one of his economically-illiterate speeches.

2. Share a toilet cake with frumpy femi-Nazi Lena Dunham.

Suddenly Michelle Obama’s lunches don’t look so bad. Also considering turning gay.

1. Be kissed by America’s creepy uncle, Joe Biden.


That’s our list. What would you rather do than go on a date with Hillary?

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